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We were coming back
from the zoo
when I first heard this song
on her stereo,
a hot day -- so hot
you couldn't even open
the windows while you drive
the highway, at sixty miles per hour.

Who would have thought
that two years later
I'd be sitting
alone,
in my boxers
sipping cold Arak
spiced with cinnamon
©2009 ~Nesi
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Submitted: May 28
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Faith No More.
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WHAT IS IT

--
I tell you such fine music awaits in the shadows of the fires of hell. -Charles Bukowski
What is what?

--
What can I say... I'm an idiot.

My recent work

Best link ever

You have a great command of the English language.

--
"Let's eat, Grandpa!"

"Let's eat Grandpa!"


Be literate. Save lives.
:)

--
What can I say... I'm an idiot.

My recent work

Best link ever

YES SAY
WHAT IS IT

--
I tell you such fine music awaits in the shadows of the fires of hell. -Charles Bukowski
I like the combination of past up to present, there is a real clash of a happy moment mixed with a more lonely reality.

--
*Writers-Workshop
#getLIT

$spyed "there is no wrath like the wrath of deviantART Lit with a valid complaint."

:bulletpink: Race for life- together we can beat cancer!
Thanks :)

It needs some more work, though.

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What can I say... I'm an idiot.

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Hmm. You could always build up the memories more, which would give the last stanza a heavier impact, but part of me liked the subtle brevity. How do you see it growing or changing?

--
*Writers-Workshop
#getLIT

$spyed "there is no wrath like the wrath of deviantART Lit with a valid complaint."

:bulletpink: Race for life- together we can beat cancer!
Actually, now in my drunken morning I reread it and I'm not sure that it needs more work.

--
What can I say... I'm an idiot.

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Best link ever

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